Truly, this whole New Year New You stuff is truly BS in my eyes. Changing who you are has nothing to do with a date, nothing to do with starting over, and ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with the the mindset that just because it is a New Year, you can reset your life. Let’s get honest and raw here. You, who you are, who you want to be, and what you want to change are about a mindset and takes time. Just like all those “fad diets” that don’t work, neither does this whole idea of New Year New You.
A study I read conducted last year found that 80% of new year resolutions fail by February. Why? Well, people make these resolutions and on January 1 expect everything to change. But there is a lot more behind making changes to your life and on top of everything, this whole “New You” thing is a bit crazy. You can not change who you are, nor should you want to. Stop focusing on a new you and think about it like this…
Here’s a crazy thought…Love who you are. If you want to change some part of your life or change who you are, then great, because that is part of loving yourself. Love and respect who you are and then you can love and respect those all around you and thus, appreciate YOU!
So, why does this whole New Year New You thing not work? Mainly because we set ourselves up for failure.
3 ways we set ourselves up for failure…
- We spend too much time looking over the fence at other people. So, first we must stop looking at others and start concentrating on ourselves. Do not worry about what others think or what others are doing. Focus just on you!
- We set unrealistic expectations. Most of the time when we make a New Year’s resolution, it is very broad or most likely, made without a lot of forethought.
- We fail to set a plan. Just because you say it, does not mean it will happen. You need to make it defined and determine how you are going to meet your goal.
What to do to succeed…
- Stop making resolutions unless you really feel deep down you need to.
- Start loving yourself in little ways every day.
- Stop worrying about other people.
- Set a plan in place if you want to make a change in your life.
- Make sure the timing is right to make a change in your life. Do not try to make a change during the wrong time in your life.
- Get support. No matter how big or small, get support to make a change. It can be a friend, co-worker, family member, or a professional, but the who matters less than the fact that you have support.
- Do not worry about what you what to change, but worry about the why and see if the why really matters.
- Do not overthink or under think, as both can be an issue. You must not spend too much time thinking about it and wasting time on the process. But if you under think it and don’t know the why and how, you will fail, too.
- Remember that changing you is a long game. No matter how big or small your task is, it is about the end game. Do not rush it and do not skip steps you may regret later.
- Do not change or make a resolution if you have no reason to do so. I’m repeating this as it’s really important.
I know this is pretty direct, but the simple fact is this is how I raised my children. If you cannot love, respect, and thus, take care of yourself, you will not be able to love, respect, and take care of others. Stop making resolutions and start taking care through your actions.
As we say in my house…You have to work for everything and there is no such thing as luck. If you want to make it happen, then make it happen. Do not simply make bucket lists and goals. Set tasks to achieve what you want.
Happy New Year!